Can you remember the feeling of new love?
There’s absolutely nothing like the wonder and feelings of fresh new love: the world is bright, energy is buzzing and boundless, productivity abounds, your heart is bursting, all is right with the world. You look to the future with open eyes and expectations. Your emotions are edgy and your head rushes with happiness. You look forward and don’t get mired in the minutia of the minute. Anticipation fills your thoughts. When you are in love, every love song on the radio resonates with meaning. You see the world around you without cynicism. You are rejuvenated. In short, you are experiencing a sense of euphoria.
These feelings are real. They are highly spiritual and also physical. In fact, they are chemically induced. Your actual brain changes. Endorphins are produced. Pheromones are triggered.
Let’s face it: we don’t really care that these positive feelings are chemical. What we really care about with new love is that the associated feelings make us happy and give us a sense of positivity, pleasure and optimism. These feelings are particularly wonderful when we exist in a world that is full of so many disappointments and struggles.
And that is what this blog post is about – how to generate those special and heady feelings that are usually associated with new love on an ordinary day in our lives, on a day when new love is not the driving force, a day when (if we are among the lucky ones) our love for our significant other is stable and taken for granted or even when we do not have a special someone in our lives. That great feeling of being sanguine about and satisfied with life should be with all of us – if not every day, then at least most days. And it shouldn’t take love’s euphoria to make it happen.
The Beatles explain the well-being and strength that comes with love eloquently:
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. It’s easy.
There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn to be you in time. It’s easy.
All you need is love.
I’d add something to what the Beatles have to say (no, not trying to improve on the Beatles here – just trying to make a point). The love that you feel has to be for yourself and your life, not just for someone else. Here are some keys to making every day be a “feel good” day:
1. Be aware. For most of us it takes making a conscious decision to add layers of energy and positivity to our everyday lives. Today, for example, I have work, phone calls, an acupuncture appointment, errands and yoga on my schedule. As I go through the day, I could just bump along through each activity without thinking about how I feel. But, I have taken a moment to remember that I want to feel really good and positive, to experience some of the feel good emotions that one gets with new love. Unless I take that moment I have no chance at all of getting that high. But, having taken that moment, I can move on to the next step with joy.
2. Think of the positives. Remember that even though there are difficulties and periods of tedium in all of our lives, there are so many things around us that are positive. Appreciate what you have. What about the fact that the sun is shining and we can still take beautiful walks in November? What about the friend who sent you a card or called just to say hello? What about the euphoria you feel when you’ve worked out really hard and pushed yourself to the limit? These are great and happy occurrences that I want you to internalize. Then, make these positives count for something and not be taken for granted or glossed over as just mundane happening. Instead, let them take over your emotions and set you up for the best feelings you can experience.
3. Hold onto the feeling. Capitalize on the positives. Once you’ve consciously realized all the great things that happen in your life every day, hold onto them. Let them be the motivation for your productivity. Let them guide you to new experiences. Let them energize you and motivate you to get even more positive energy. In other words, be grateful for what you DO have.
Your emotional well-being is the most important quality for your physical and mental health. Once you have achieved it, you can keep the feeling with a little work on your part. And you can even impart those feelings to others; it will be contagious. Instead of a roller coaster, try to make every day as energized as you were when you first fell in love.
As a Leadership Coach, Personal Life Coach, and author of From Intuition to Entrepreneurship: a Woman’s Guide to Following Her Dream, Barbara has the insight to achieve quick and lasting success with a focus on bottom-line results. And, since success involves the entire person, Barbara has created Neuro Emotional Coaching®, a cutting edge 4-step process rooted in neuroscience that combines personal coaching with knowledge of the human brain and its impact on change and leadership.