I have an life coaching client who grew up in Michigan. He moved away when he went to college, not returning to his home town except for the occasional visit for the next 23 years. He came back to his home town because his life had just taken a turn that left him lost and confused. After two decades of marriage, he was getting divorced. His wife of 20 year had decided to leave him for his best friend.
When my life coaching client (let’s name him Paul) came to me, his primary obvious emotions were confusion and anger. Upon further investigation it became clear that he also felt lost, sad, and without a purpose. Compounding the already difficult situation for Paul was that his first inclination - throughout the relationship that he was losing - had been to give and not to take. Instead of concentrating on what he wanted and what would make him happy, he had almost always given himself to his family and the family business. He hadn’t found his passion or joy, nor developed a true sense of how to take care of himself emotionally. He never had taken the time or found the opportunity to develop a purpose much less figured out who he would be in the absence of his significant others.
A recurring theme for many of my life coaching clients involves finding a new path after a huge and/or intense change; i.e. loss of a loved one, change of job, move to another country or end of a relationship. It not always easy to get through it but, with some work, dedication, determination and most of all a sense of confidence, you will succeed in adapting to changing circumstances. Not only that, most of the time (I hesitate to be unequivocal but really am tempted to say “all of the time” based on my experience with myself and my life coaching clients) your life will be even better and more satisfying than before. You will start a new positive journey and new horizons will open to the “light at the end of the tunnel.”
Within a few months of receiving Neuro Emotional Coaching® Paul was able to heal the past and understand that his divorce was a chance for him to create a life that was full of passion, happiness, peace of mind, and purpose. Paul also realized that taking and internalizing the role of “people pleaser” had helped him avoid being responsible for his own emotions. He saw that he had avoided taking risks with others as well as with himself. (Change is not easy but can be done with determination and commitment to one’s self).
A year after we finished coaching, Paul moved to Florida. There he found a new job he loves and is happy to report that he has been on a few dates lately.
In my 20 years of coaching, there have been many other stories like this. And most likely, you probably have your own stories of loss, disappointment, or change. For those of you are considering using “change” (voluntarily or involuntarily, intense or not intense) as an opportunity, here are some suggestions for how you can get your own groove back:
1. Acknowledge that you are experiencing something. If it is a trauma, call it that; if it is a change that you wanted but it turns out to be difficult, admit it. Allow yourself to be emotional about it.
2. Know that you are not alone – you have friends, family, counselors, and professional coaches all ready and willing to help you achieve inner peace and a new avenue to happiness.
3. Believe and be confident that you can rise above your trauma and know that your life can take a happy path even after a painful one.
4. Take it easy! Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are not alone and you certainly are not the first to have a down period before finding success and happiness again.
5. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgiveness the key to letting things go. If you can’t forgive yet, at least consider it.
6. Be willing to work at it. No one said that the path to light is an easy one. You’re going to have to look inside and see where you may have contributed to your own difficult situation. But, the enlightenment and insight that you develop will set your future success and joy.
I know that it is not easy to trust others to help you. It’s often difficult for people to come to me and, at first, there may be some trepidation about sharing experiences, emotions and fears. But, I can tell you that 100% of the time, when you start to share your concerns and hurts, their underlying cause will be revealed. Neuro Emotional Coaching® has helped me overcome the many challenges that I have faced in my life. Perhaps that is why I feel so strongly about its effectiveness. Plus it has helped hundreds of people like yourself. So, don’t wait. Take a risk and try it. You deserve to be free.
Be fearless – be positive – be brave – be confident – be loving to yourself - trust. You will then be happy!
As a Leadership Coach, Personal Life Coach, and author of From Intuition to Entrepreneurship: a Woman’s Guide to Following Her Dream, Barbara has the insight to achieve quick and lasting success with a focus on bottom-line results. And, since success involves the entire person, Barbara has created Neuro Emotional Coaching®, a cutting edge 4-step process rooted in neuroscience that combines personal coaching with knowledge of the human brain and its impact on change and leadership.