Many times when we are feeling sorry for ourselves we avoid feelings on a deeper level.  Instead of being with our feelings on the inner level, we project out onto the outer level.  We try to blame the circumstances or the other people involved all to serve the purpose of not dealing with our own feelings of discomfort.

I recently had a good case of feeling sorry for myself.  I thought I had been crystal clear, flexible and accommodating.  Without going into any details, things did not work out the way I wanted.  Before long, I started to feel sorry for myself.  I was also blaming myself for making poor choices.  After a few days of not being able to shift my perception of the situation I decided to take another approach.  If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always gotten. 

I asked myself a simple question.  What do you want, Barbara?  With no trouble at all I was able to answer that question.  I wanted this and that and if I was really truthful I wanted much more than I was being given in the situation.  I had allowed my fears to get in the way of “playing big.”   

Asking myself this simple question made all the difference in the world.  I had created an opening for a shift to occur.  Maybe I did not know right away which way to turn, but new possibilities were at least available.  So, what’s the learning?  When you feel stuck on any level ask yourself, “What do I want?” Take time to answer the question and see if the new information you generate helps you create a shift.  Rather then telling yourself over and over what you don’t like about the situation, be honest with yourself and let yourself know what you do want.  Be flexible and patient with the process.  Depending on the situation, your version of the “What do I want?” question may be one or more of the following:

1. How do I want to feel?
2. What do I want to get out of this situation?
3. What do I need to learn?
4. What do I want from this person or myself?

Knowing what we want is the next step in getting resolution.  Even when you think that what is going on with you has nothing to do with getting more clarity, ask yourself anyway…..“What do I want?”

 ”Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it. ”
Don Herold

“If this is coffee, please bring me tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”   Abraham Lincoln

If your emotions are sometimes getting in the way, see what happens when they get neutralized. Ready to experience Neuro-Emotional Coaching (TM)?

Come and join me on Tuesday, April 27 from 6:30 – 9:30 pm at Sirani Gallery.  For details click here.

 I would love to hear from you. Please comment on my blog.

Warmly,

Barbara Schwarck, PCC, MPIA
NeuroEmotional Coach – Speaker -Author
President, Clear Intentions
www.clearintentions.net

All too often we approach sticky situations with a substantial amount of attachment and expectations.  For instance, we might expect our family members to behave in a certain way.  We cook a great meal or cut the grass in hopes of some kindness and consideration when the next interaction surprisingly brings misery and unhappiness.  Or professionally, for example, we work hard on a business deal and are ready to close it and anticipating it going exactly the way we plan when suddenly the deal falls through.  In both instances, we end up feeling disappointed and perhaps even defeated.  What happened?

We may have too many expectations and attachments to the things in which we are involved or working toward.  Whether in our personal or professional life, we may fall into the attachment trap without even being aware of it.  When we are too attached to the outcome there is no room for flexibility, including the option for an even better outcome.   When we have too many expectations we set ourselves up for disappointment.  Noone else can meet our expectations.  Only we can meet our expectations and most of us set ourselves up right off the bat by having expectations that are too high.  This is self-sabotaging in terms of effective energy use.

What to do?  Begin by having a conversation with yourself about your attachments and expectations.  Find out if you have any unconscious or hidden emotions in a situation.  Whatever is going on, allow yourself to feel all of it in an environment that is separate from the situation.  You can have an inner dialogue, write in your journal or perhaps talk to a professional coach.  In any case, I have found that when my clients have cleared their hearts and minds that often a higher outcome than what they originally envisioned becomes apparent.

 MONTHLY CHALLENGE:

Pick a project or event in the next two weeks.  Examine your emotions and thoughts around the event.  In a safe environment, allow yourself to empty your emotions and thoughts in whatever way works for you and move into a state of detachment.  At the same time set a clear intention and focus for your energy.  In other words, you can still have a high level of involvement in the physical process, but low attachment in the outcome.  Keep track of your inner process while you are working on the event or project.  After the event is over evaluate the process.  What worked for you and what didn’t?  What did you learn?

I would love to hear from you. Please comment on my blog.

Warmly,

Barbara Schwarck, PCC, CPCC
Coach – Trainer -Author
President, Clear Intentions
www.clearintentions.net

How can this be? Emotions are part of the natural response process people have to virtually every situation we encounter. Each emotional response is produced from a chemical reaction in our body, triggered by events that occurred in the past. In other words, we don’t respond newly to events happening right now. Instead, our brain is programmed to attach the new experience to a prior one, some similar situation from the past. In a split second, these experiences combine, and the “new” experience triggers an unconscious reaction to the past, and we behave accordingly. In this way, “emotional baggage” from a single, seemingly insignificant past event can residually impact our behavior in the present, instantaneously building “safe” boundaries for what we say is possible, but ultimately disempowering ourselves and limiting our full potential. Negotiating for a car is a stressful occasion likely to trigger such an incongruous response in the body.

The human brain has three major parts called the neo-cortex, limbic system and reptilian brain, which all have a drive of their own. When any of these three parts are in conflict, you will sabotage your conscious will to satisfy the desires of one or more of the other drives. Emotional alignment means all three parts of your brain are rowing together in the same direction to take you where you consciously want to be going.

Suppose your neo-cortex, or conscious mind, wants you to have a successful car buying negotiation. This is rational, logical and a good way to save money. Coincidentally, your reptilian brain, which is unconscious and consumed by survival, is terrified that you’re going to be dominated and taken advantage of by the salesperson. Moreover, your limbic system or subconscious mind is paralyzed by how much the salesperson reminds you of your struggling brother, of whom you’d never dream of taking advantage.

The problem of alignment becomes obvious when described in such a hypothetical way. With these differing patterns of thought and feeling running in the background of your car negotiation, it is very unlikely that you will be successful. In most cases, however, we are clueless about what is going on in the limbic (subconscious) or reptilian (unconscious) parts of our brain.

NET®, or Neuro Emotional Technique, is a technology used to align peoples’ body and mind with the emotional prospect of manifesting their goals, dreams and visions. It creates emotional alignment between the three parts of your brain and your goals, assisting you in producing amazing results in all areas of life. NET uses the connection between your mind and body to uncover the particular patterns that are currently blocking you from manifesting your goals. Once the present and historical basis of your pattern is revealed, the unresolved energy gets released and neutralized and permanent alignment is established. You are then free to create and enjoy an experience of freedom and success in every area of life. To find out more, visit www.clearintentions.net/net.htm.

Where you are in incongruent?

Want to learn more about successful car negotiation and/or ready to purchase a car. Go visit www.women-drivers.com and check out women-friendly dealers in your neighborhood.

Enjoy,

Barbara Schwarck, PCC, MPIA

President, Clear Intentions
www.clearintentions.net

Barbara Schwarck, PCC, MPIA is president of Clear Intentions, Inc., an international people development company located in Pittsburgh. We lead and launch people and organizations to manifest their goals, dreams and visions through NET®, coaching, assessments, keynote speaking and training.

So what’s the problem with incompletions? Actually nothing. Incompletions are only a problem if they tie up your energy and drag you down–often without you even realizing what a great force they represent. Incompletions can be a problem if we allow ourselves to feel inefficient, bad, lazy or overwhelmed. Most of us have several lists of incompletions in all areas of our lives, i.e., house, career, education and family. Remember, incompletions are not always physical tasks. Some of us have incomplete communications or incomplete issues – emotional stuff that, if let go or brought to completion, would free up energy and create joy.

What to do? There are several effective ways to deal with incompletions. First, make a list of them. When you list them you may either list them by urgency, time frame or category. Incompletions can be completed in three ways: do them, delegate them or declare them complete. I know this sounds too easy, but it can be. Second, take out your list and decide which ones you are going to do, delegate or declare complete.

Hint: Be honest and complete only the goals you are going to work on in the next 90 days.

Tip: If a goal or project takes you only five minutes to complete it do it right away. You will spend more time thinking about it than it will ever take you to do the actual task. Just do it.

Tip: Very important!! Pick one thing on your list. (Start small)

If you choose to do it, do it 110% until it’s finished and…
Do not think about what isn’t being done, should be done, could be done.
Immediately stop yourself if you find yourself doing this.

Enjoy,

Barbara Schwarck

President
Clear Intentions
www.clearintentions.net

What do we usually do with tasks that we either do not like, or consider ourselves not to be as good at as we’d like to be? You guessed it! Most of us procrastinate and put that stuff on the back burner. Then we leave it there until it is almost too late to take it off.

There are many things in life that we must do that, for whatever reason, we don’t want to do. Nevertheless, we do them because either the consequence of not doing them is too great, or the reward for doing them anyway is so great that it makes it worthwhile.

Above my desk hangs a German saying in a little old frame that I inherited from my grandfather. It says: “Do the hard stuff first and the rest will follow easy.” As a child, I could not relate to this. It did not make sense. Why do the hard stuff first? As a teenager, I revolted against anything anybody from my family suggested. School was hard and I wanted it to be easy. I learned the hard way that it was not smart for me to practice tennis all day, while avoiding studying for a French exam. I ended up repeating 9th grade which, despite being a common occurrence in Germany, didn’t make me feel very great.

As an adult, I learned to pace myself. Today, I create mini-deadlines that help me navigate through the larger process. I eliminate distractions and tell myself that it is okay to make a mistake. I now know that it is better for me to do the hard stuff first, when my brain is fresh, my ideas abundant, and I have plenty of time to edit or revise. If I wait to get things done, I usually miss things, risk being late, and experience stress for sure.

Here are some tips that will assist you with eliminating procrastination:

1. Remind yourself of why you are doing whatever it is you are doing
2. Set realistic goals that include specific outcomes and timelines
3. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake
4. Limit distractions
5. Remind yourself that procrastination is a learned habit and that it can be unlearned
6. Reward your successes and don’t judge your failures

Are you now ready to tackle your next project? Go for it! You have my full support in getting it done on time. Call me if you need a kick in the pants!

Enjoy,

Barbara

President and CEO
Clear Intentions
www.clearintentions.net

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Enjoy,

Barbara

President and CEO

Clear Intentions

www.clearintentions.net

Now finally, we also have a central location to display all of our events! You can check out our calendar at http://www.clearintentions.net/clv2/media-events.php. Please visit this section regularly, as dates and events are often updated. Our new book is being released on June 18^th, so we are continually adding book signings, as well as other related events. Please remember that although some events require a minimal admittance charge, many of our events are completely free! Books are also available at www.createspace.com/3384741 and for an autographed copy at https://www.fromintuition.com

We are here to make your world a better place; both at home and at work. If you have an idea for a blog or would like me to comment on something that is important to you, please don’t hesitate to email your request to me at barbara@clearintentions.net.

Enjoy,

Barbara

President and CEO

Clear Intentions

www.clearintentions.net