Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
-Helen Keller
Helen Keller has always been a bit of a mystery to me, as well as one of the most miraculous and strong human beings I can imagine. Most of us do not have a fraction of the obstacles that faced her. Still, we all have experiences that stay with us and which we struggle with daily so that we can live happier, fully and more meaningful lives.
In Neuro Emotional Coaching® we take our inquiry beyond what appears to be the immediate perceived threat to determine what really is causing the anticipated action to be so frightening. No matter who you are or what you feel is holding you back – physical health, mental health, childhood trauma, being fired from a job, losing a loved one –together we can take the steps necessary for you to overcome the hesitancy that is stymieing you and placing a fulfilled and exciting future at risk. Before looking at a few examples, think about what you want out of life. Likely, you want happiness, satisfaction, stress free days and strength to deal with the foibles of your own and of others. Face your problem full on, with courage and conviction, and have a chance to overcome it. Hide your face and don’t try, or fail to embrace the possible, positive healthy change will never occur.
When I do muscle testing in the context of business coaching, one of the recurring themes is to determine whether the client is really alright with the financial success she claims to be seeking. Often I find that though the client thinks she is ready for change, she is held back by fear. The status quo, though inadequate, is preferable to facing the unknown or to trying and failing. My goal besides getting them biochemically aligned with their goals becomes imbuing that person with enough courage and self-confidence to take a step into the unknown. We muscle test and go on a journey to assess why she is fearful, when the fear set in, what is the trigger that makes her hold back and do herself a disservice. Then, we move forward freeing her to pursue her business objectives and, ultimately, feel comfortable for her success.
Likewise, when I muscle test a client who is purportedly miserable in an ongoing relationship, sometimes even a violent or emotionally abusive one, I determine whether he is really OK with being alone and standing up to the other. In reading this remember, the abusive relationship may be personal or may even be a business relationship. Perhaps you feel bullied by a colleague you have not confronted, or a boss who will not give you a chance at success or gives you the undesirable assignments. In either case, fear may be the reason a direct confrontation with the issue seems impossible. Often times, I find that my client in a negative personal relationship is fearful of being alone. In a negative business relationship, the problem may be a fear that failure to comply will result in rejection in the form of being fired or being left out of the group dynamic completely. Whatever the fear holding my client back, my objective becomes clear. Find out the catalyst for the paralysis and help him work his way through it, including physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and biochemically. Many times I’ve heard people say, “Staying in a bad relationship or a bad job is better than not having a relationship or job at all.” But, is that really true? Who knows what the future may bring. I have more than one client who has been faced with both divorce and losing her job and she will tell you now that taking the step she most feared has led to fulfillment and satisfaction she never dreamed possible. Now, many have beautiful relationships and highly motivating and satisfying professional lives.
No one can know their future. As Helen Keller so eloquently suggests, avoiding the possible danger of a future alone is easy, facing an unknown future head on is harder, but ultimately likely to be far more rewarding.
Try this exercise for me. Think about something that you are fearful of facing – public speaking, leaving a relationship, asking someone on a date, going skiing, asking for a transfer or more rewarding job assignments. Now, ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if I do …” Then, face your life as a daring adventure and give it a try.
