A big part of my executive and life coaching practice is about letting go of whatever is holding you back. I help you find and identify inner demons that interfere with your business and personal success and overcome them. That’s exactly why a recent article that I read about Carolyn Kennedy resonated with me. If there is a “poster child” for someone who has overcome pain, disappointment and change, all the while in the public spotlight, it is she. Her roadblocks aren’t hidden. After all, she’s been in the public eye since she was four and we’ve seen her lose her family one person at a time. Yet, despite it all, she has transformed herself, continues to grow, doesn’t avoid opportunities to advance and continues to have success. Her latest accomplishment is receiving the nomination to be ambassador to Japan from President Obama. From what we can tell, Caroline Kennedy has come through her hardships strong, but not hard; determined, but not discouraged. That’s what I want for all of us. That’s the essence of what can be achieved through my special coaching technique called Neuro Emotional Coaching® or NEC® process. In writing about her experiences, Caroline Kennedy reflected how alone she sometimes felt:
When you’re going through something, whether it’s a wonderful thing like having a child or a sad thing like losing somebody, you often feel like ‘Oh my God, I’m so overwhelmed; I’m dealing with this huge thing on my own.
From my perspective, Caroline Kennedy could have let the losses of her father, mother, uncles, brother and others she loved turn her into a pessimistic person who kept herself in the shadows. It could be that her view of the world transformed her inner thoughts into those of someone whose unconscious told her that each time she put herself in the public eye or made a step toward success, she was subject to action that potentially could kill her literally or figuratively. I can imagine that seeing her father and uncle gunned down and her brother die in a plane crash could result in subconsciously taking steps for the purpose of self-preservation and that fear would control her actions. She might not sit on boards, challenge herself physically, be the spokesperson for her father’s library, author books about her mother, write and publish poetry, allow herself to be the legacy she is and, certainly, avoid the ambassadorship to Japan. Yet, she does the opposite.
After all, that’s what happens to so many of us, though the triggers may not be so dramatic. I’m talking about the kid who was bullied at school who still as an adult has fears of success because he identifies success with being mean. Or I think of the things that held me back from putting myself in public because I felt ugly and fat as a child and didn’t want people to look at me and judge. Then, I had a client who fell and badly injured herself as a child and remained so afraid of heights that she avoided a promotion that required flying. The examples are endless.
Yet, these coaching clients and I – like Caroline Kennedy – have overcame our unconscious concerns to become successful. I don’t know how she did it; but I am sure she had a lot of help from excellent therapists and/or coaches coupled with a lot of hard work and inner contemplation. For me and my coaching clients, the “solution” has been through my proprietary coaching technique called NEC®. Using muscle testing and assertions we can quickly identify what has held us back and when we have moved on. It was nothing short of a breakthrough for Kennedy when the past no longer constrained her but merely informed or perhaps even strengthened her.
The results of these breakthroughs can be as simple like being able to fly in a plane again. Or they can be profound like some of my executive coaching clients, who are able to take a struggling business and, almost overnight, make it successful through nothing more than a different view of self with respect to leadership.
It’s hard to ignore the fact that President Kennedy remains an idol though he was killed fifty years ago. Caroline Kennedy describes a life in which nearly every day people still come up to her and offer condolences which she must graciously accept and move on.
I wish the same for all of you. I want you to accept your past and know that it is a part of what molds you and forms you to be the person you are today. But, I want it to make you strong and help you find a direction that will satisfy you. I want your past not to hold you back but to open you to new opportunities and the achievement of your desires. Those negative experiences lurking inside won’t be a barrier to success if you uncover and accept them. I think we all do have a little of Caroline Kennedy inside.
Caroline Kennedy has described her life view like this:
Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want … to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open?
